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Rédaction/enfance
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Rédaction/enfance
Message de pitchows posté le 27-09-2011 à 21:16:10 (S | E | F)
HEY GUYS !
Bonsoir à tous ,
je poste ce message car je voudrais si possible être corrigé.
Merci à tous ceux qui peuvent m'aider.
Alors voilà je commence :
In this extract from "..." by "..." we can see that the narrator talk about his childhood .
He explains who likes poetry but that doesn't like to his father who don't agree as he thinks that real boys play soccer.
I am going to comment on his point of view and try to understand the two characters : the father and his son : the narrator
I understand the father's point of view for maybe he doesn't have a choice and that the soccer probably represent for him a traditional value that he wants to keep and not lost that.
Futhermore , i think that father , as the mother was died , fell a need to play his role as father .
He want to share some good time with his children . So , he enjoys soccer with his son.
But I also
understand the narrator's point of view because the children hate to play soccer .
He prefers practise him hobbies .
The narrator is very comfortable with the field of poetry .
Also , he wishes to keep the powerful link ,with his late ( = défunte ?) mother , witch is very precious for him.
Voilà !J'espere être éclairée Merci pour vos réponses .
Bye !
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Modifié par lucile83 le 27-09-2011 21:36
Message de pitchows posté le 27-09-2011 à 21:16:10 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir à tous ,
je poste ce message car je voudrais si possible être corrigé.
Merci à tous ceux qui peuvent m'aider.
Alors voilà je commence :
In this extract from "..." by "..." we can see that the narrator talk about his childhood .
He explains who likes poetry but that doesn't like to his father who don't agree as he thinks that real boys play soccer.
I am going to comment on his point of view and try to understand the two characters : the father and his son : the narrator
I understand the father's point of view for maybe he doesn't have a choice and that the soccer probably represent for him a traditional value that he wants to keep and not lost that.
Futhermore , i think that father , as the mother was died , fell a need to play his role as father .
He want to share some good time with his children . So , he enjoys soccer with his son.
But I also
understand the narrator's point of view because the children hate to play soccer .He prefers practise him hobbies .
The narrator is very comfortable with the field of poetry .
Also , he wishes to keep the powerful link ,with his late ( = défunte ?) mother , witch is very precious for him.
Bye !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 27-09-2011 21:36
Réponse: Rédaction/enfance de gerondif, postée le 27-09-2011 à 23:06:19 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
quelques maladresses.
exemple: il explique qu'il aime la poésie et non pas il explique qui aime la poésie.
Attention aux s de 3ème personne présent simple.*
Attention aux constructions hazardeuses comme :
I understand the father's point of view for("car" ok) maybe he doesn't have a choice and that("que" ne va pas ici) the soccer probably represent for him a traditional value that he wants to keep and not lost that.
In this extract from "..." by "..." we can see that the narrator talk* about his childhood .
He explains who likes poetry but that doesn't like to his father who do**n't agree as he thinks that real boys play soccer.
I am going to comment on his point of view and try to understand the two characters : the father and his son : the narrator
I understand the father's point of view for maybe he doesn't have a choice and that
Futhermore , i think that the father , as the mother was died (mélange entre died et dead, mauvais temps, mauvais auxiliaire), fell (confusion feel fell + *)a need to play his role as a father .
He want* to share some good time with his children . So , he enjoys soccer with his son.
But I also understand the narrator's point of view because the children hate* to play soccer .(je pense que vus parlez du narrateur, les enfants en général aiment le football)
He prefers practise(infinitif complet ou ing) him hobbies .
The narrator is very comfortable with the field of poetry .
Also , he wishes to keep the(plutôt un lien) powerful link with his late ( = défunte ?) mother , witch(= une sorcière) is very precious for him.
Réponse: Rédaction/enfance de pitchows, postée le 28-09-2011 à 19:43:03 (S | E)
merci de m'avoir répondu , c'est très gentil à toi
je vais corriger mes erreurs !!!
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