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Monkeys- Correction (1)
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Monkeys- Correction
Message de kiwi_ posté le 19-02-2009 à 20:24:04 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir.
Demain je dois rendre ma rédaction , dont le but est de raconter l'histoire d'une personne qui aurait vécu un accident une catastrophe ...
J'ai un niveau assez faible en anglais pour une élève de 3 ème ; il doit certainement y contenir de nombreuses fautes.
Si quelqu'un pourrait me les corriger cela me serait vraiment très utile , je vous remercie pour l'interet que vous portez à mon travail.
Monkeys in anger .
A young man is now-dead after a dangerous attack by monkeys.
He had to carry them in the Liverpool's zoo last week . But after doing a big error ,
he was attacked ….
This monday , Mike was at layby for a released time , when he was leaving a restaurent , he heart a strange noise , person with an enquiring mind , he went to the back where it was a little window.
While he was looking inside , a monkey put the window he thought it was funny , so he take his camera but he didn't know the danger.
As he was taking some photos by the window , a monkey appeared suddenly and broke the window.
A few minutes later , Mike Wiltson were attacked by eleven monkeys .
He dying away for six minutes.
A witness said :
« While I was walking , I heart a noise strange , I thought a crim but when I saw , there were … three or four monkeys in anger which attacked a personn. I would have dashed for him but I was scared … It was a scene panic … »
Monkeys don't bear flash by camera , they are scared and they became very dangerous.
Never take any photos when you see monkeys and avoid wearing shiny jewellery.
Merci !
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Modifié par bridg le 19-02-2009 20:34
Titre distinctif.
Message de kiwi_ posté le 19-02-2009 à 20:24:04 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir.
Demain je dois rendre ma rédaction , dont le but est de raconter l'histoire d'une personne qui aurait vécu un accident une catastrophe ...
J'ai un niveau assez faible en anglais pour une élève de 3 ème ; il doit certainement y contenir de nombreuses fautes.
Si quelqu'un pourrait me les corriger cela me serait vraiment très utile , je vous remercie pour l'interet que vous portez à mon travail.
Monkeys in anger .
A young man is now-dead after a dangerous attack by monkeys.
He had to carry them in the Liverpool's zoo last week . But after doing a big error ,
he was attacked ….
This monday , Mike was at layby for a released time , when he was leaving a restaurent , he heart a strange noise , person with an enquiring mind , he went to the back where it was a little window.
While he was looking inside , a monkey put the window he thought it was funny , so he take his camera but he didn't know the danger.
As he was taking some photos by the window , a monkey appeared suddenly and broke the window.
A few minutes later , Mike Wiltson were attacked by eleven monkeys .
He dying away for six minutes.
A witness said :
« While I was walking , I heart a noise strange , I thought a crim but when I saw , there were … three or four monkeys in anger which attacked a personn. I would have dashed for him but I was scared … It was a scene panic … »
Monkeys don't bear flash by camera , they are scared and they became very dangerous.
Never take any photos when you see monkeys and avoid wearing shiny jewellery.
Merci !
------------------
Modifié par bridg le 19-02-2009 20:34
Titre distinctif.
